Hallucinating over Madonna

Only great artists need apply.

Mediocre performers send us to sleep. Great artists sweep us into kaleidoscope worlds where we either twirl in ecstasy – or cower in the darkness of our fetid minds.

eraserheadsMillennial youth with no memory of a dictator are probably also clueless on the history of Tito Sotto, who once slipped into a void where he mistook Eraserhead lyrics for satanic verses.

The Heads were in good company, right up there with the gods of rock and roll.

Sotto, even in delirium, wasn’t even capable of an original tale.

Led Zeppelin, for one, had been the subject of fervent denunciation by an evangelical broadcaster named Paul Crouch.

ledzepCrouch, probably a decrypter in some past life, translated “If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow” to this:

“Oh here’s to my sweet Satan. The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan. He will give those with him 666. There was a little tool shed where he made us suffer, sad Satan.”

gagaMuch later, folk who called themselves Christians spied horns, hoofs and scaled wings on the famous figure of Lady Gaga. They demanded the cancellation of her Philippine concert to save the souls of the thousands who’d bought tickets.

And now, here’s a guy, Wyden King, who probably can turn to mist and go through concrete walls and steel trusses.

King emailed journalists, saying the Queen of Pop’s hotel room in Manila had walls painted black.

photo from ABS-CBNNews.com

He heard from that room incantations and curses against our country, never mind that an entire arena rocked in harmony with Madonna Louise Ciccone. 

King’s X-ray eyes also saw fault lines beneath the MOA, with wicked imps dancing and jiving to shake the earth.

He blamed Madonna, not corrupt building contractors, for the deaths in big quake that rocked Taiwan during the week of her concerts there.

photo from ABS-CBNNews.com

He begged us all to pray and storm the heavens so God strikes down the woman he calls “high priestess of the Illuminati.”

He also called on people to trap Jesus’ blood in some giant shaker and rain down red on all of Madonna’s concert props.

I want whatever the guy’s been smoking.

“An intercessor saw huge demons with horns and tails covering that event venue and the place is filled with huge and small dragons and snakes.  He also saw that the satanists have created a HEXAGRAM ALTAR at MOA Arena.  He saw it in the spirit  that they placed sacrificial candles on each point of the hexagram and they are doing an abominable sexual act inviting Bafomet to that place.”

Bafomet or Baphomet. Photo from Wikipaedia commons

Bafomet was an idol the Knights Templar allegedly worshipped. He does look like a groovy concert prop.

King actually asked us to pray so that God would destroy the venue – and all the wicked people in there.

Last I checked, people were streaming out with dopey grins on their faces.

But Francis Tolentino wins the Delusion Medal. The Playgirls should shower him with twerks and kisses for placing them on the same plane with the Queen of Pop.




Aaah, Judas. Given all that angst, he’s the perfect guy for Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta  aka Lady Gaga

Gaga likes writing about the traps we set for ourselves. It’s natural for her to focus on love-hate relationships: say, between Judas and his Man and between a woman and her bad romance.

For this she is being damned to the hottest spot in hell, the one reserved for card-carrying spawn of Satan. (Now, there’s an album cover design for the ages!)

Public demand prompted organizers of Gaga’s concert to add an extra night. But “Christians” are protesting, citing danger to our souls and society.

The protesters say they will ask the Pasay City Mayor Antonio Calixto to cancel Gaga’s permit for Tuesday if she does anything “lewd” tonight.  Which makes me wonder: How many of our good brothers and sisters have volunteered to risk their souls by spying on the controversial artist? And, while at the business of salvation, have they tried to sniff out the oh-so-wholesome business that thrive in the bars dotting Calixto’s turf?

There’s plenty of talk about “role models”.

Members of the Bible Mode Youth said Lady Gaga’s songs are not appropriate for Filipinos. They also condemn her “almost naked” state of dress and ask Filipinos to boycott the concert. (abs-cbnnews.com)

Former Manila Congressman and founder of Biblemode International, Dr. Benny Abante Jr. moans:

Makikita namin, natin, na hindi lang ito an affront to our belief but it is obscene and very sensual po. At itong si Lady Gaga sinasabi niya that she is a prostitute at a famed hooker. Is that the kind of role model that we would like our young people to be?”

Former Manila Mayor Lito Atienza and lawyer Romulo Macalintal also filed a petition before Calixto for the concert permit to be revoked.

Considering at least two of these saintly gentlemen thought Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was the right role model for Filipino youth, it’s pretty hard to take them seriously. Ditto Abante, who probably thinks every song is a biography. And then there are our local so-called artists, who actually think there is nothing shameful about advising Gaga to change the lyrics of the controversial song.

Being a cooperative soul, I’m presenting these good people a list of 50 things and people more evil than Gaga. Should be enough for three lifetimes of caterwauling. If you can come up with anything else, feel free to comment:

From cnn.com

1) Massacres and warlords

Would-be saviors can 1) go to Muntinlupa and pray and fast until the Ampatuans get the justice they deserve, or 2) deck out in fatigues and rifles to hunt down Jovito Palparan – That should take up at least a decade.

2) Torturers 


They can 1) pray Novenas to hasten the conviction of  this infamous cop who managed post-act to get a teaching job in the police academy, or 2) volunteer as counselors in the wildest, most wooly precincts in this country

3) Pedophiles 

I’m half afraid to ask them to succor the victims. After all, most pedophiles were in change of the souls or minds of their prey. And last we checked, there’s a Benedictine priest wanted in the US being given protection by our holy ones.

4) Rapists

Of course, given that the pious ones think choice of outfit is a reason for mayhem, they might just legislate this as punishment for people who like wearing beach garb off the sands.

5) Traffic in women and children

In the realm of sin, Lady Gaga is a girl scout compared to those who abduct or mislead people and sell them to slavery. Maybe they can start scouring the fleshpots around Mayor Calixto’s city.

6) Plunderers

Then again, if some Bishops and evangelists think the source of charity isn’t important, we know what they’ll think of this…

7) Domestic abuse

Which, in many sermons, seem to rank lower than divorce or separation where sin is concerned…

8) Narco-trade

See source of charity and jueteng and government gambling schemes

9) Exploiters of workers

Catholic orders do not have a stellar record in respecting workers’ rights, do they? Lots of strikes in their schools, broadcast stations, etc…

10) Ignorance

Let’s start with people who screech like exorcists when they wouldn’t recognize the devil if he slapped them with his tail.